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Storytime!! (again)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MisterHalleck, Jun 9, 2002.

  1. MisterHalleck

    MisterHalleck Peasant

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    Dagor got over it when he realized ShipSystems could remake the droid in minutes. Meanwhile, Jake and Konstantine are huddled over Wulfer in the medical bay, trwating him for dehydration and severe muscle atrophy.

    "You know, we ought to go planetside for a day to see wtf is going on sown there," mused Jakeman.
    "Fine, but let me go first, since no chemicals can harm light," said Konstantine.
    "ok. You know, what is with all this new stuff going on? it's never happened in all the 5000 years I've been alive. You do all this?"
    "In a way, yes. Most people think I'm their saviour but that's their own business. I am what I am."
    "So will I be in for any surprises when we see the planet? can we talk to anyone, find any good things out? I've suddenly had the urge to bore someoune out of his skull- I've been practicing recently. I'm really quite good. want me to demonstrate?"
    "no."
    "Eh, okay."
     
  2. mrdoomsday

    mrdoomsday Peasant

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    thankfully tho Nate had a reconstitute-transmorphorg-rebuter (its standard with most androids) and all his peices came back together! he forgave whoever shot him ( his recent memory was a little wacked!)
    immediately he went back behing dagor so he could resume his ever day pleasuring of dapork. but to my his amazement there was another android behind him doing it already! did dapork really try and kill nate as part of his plot for universal domination? find out within the next few posts
     
  3. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    please keep to the story dooms. there was never a dapork, and the android was supposed to pleasure dagor.

    Wulf had been treated, and explained to the crew what had happened.

    "There was a large cylinder shaped being that nabbed me from behind" said Wulf. "It made a whistling sound as it flew through the air. That's all I remember, for I was rendered unconscious after that. I then woke handicapped and bruised to see my ship destroyed and my crew gone."

    "I see" said Jakeman.

    "Perhaps this being you speak of was a... a... nevermind" said Konstantine.

    "No tell us" scrambled Jakeman.

    "No, t'is a being too complexe to be comprehended by the likes of your kind (we now realize that Konstantine never was really one of their species). I mustn't strain your brains."

    Jakeman who was a bit offended by this statement began to walk away. When all of a sudden, the android called Nate said something of a whisper.

    "I... I know of this being you speak of Konstantine. I wish to explain it to Jakeman if you'll allow it."

    "Oh very well" answerd Konstantine.

    So Nate continued. "T'was programmed into my database when I was created... The fear of this being was to be remembered by all my kind. Just after my creation, my creators' sworn enemies attacked and destroyed them. We were lucky to escape from these ghastly cylinders. My kind then scattered, and attached ourselves to the behinds of hosts, and gave them pleasure all day long so that they would let us stay attached. These cylinder beings... they are terrible creatures. They are bright red with green stripes. They possess no teeth, but instead suckers to suck the life out of their victims. They fly by the means telekinesis, a sense that lies within their massive heads, heads of flesh that dumbfound any who dare to look at them.
    I have one more thing to say... T'was also programmed in my head that these creatures were the natives of Zachisse."

    "What??!?" bellowed Konstantine.

    "Yes I know" said Nate. "T'is the planet that you seek, the one you almost landed on until you saw this Wulf's reckage. For now it lies some miles away, but it may be seen through the windows of the ship. The genocide of my creators' race took place many thousands of years ago. It is possible that these ghastly creatures are no longer of many on Zachisse, but I suggest you take the necessary precautions. They live under the sand, and are also able to travel through space by leaping from the sands and holding their breaths for a very long time."

    Dagor who had been listening told his companions to stop for minute and listen. "I... I hear a whistling sound" he said.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2002
  4. mrdoomsday

    mrdoomsday Peasant

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    ( sorry couple of mix-matched names)
    the noise seemed to be coming from the east towards the setting sun. everyone pulled out their phasers (jake had to change his setting from "find me incontrolably sexy" to stun)
    and dagor got his hands onto the ships built in gatlin-phaser. Whatever this whistling thing was it was getting closer by the second.
     
  5. cowofwar

    cowofwar Peasant

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    Suddenly cowofwar crashed through the wall in all his whistling greatness.
     
  6. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    "Well I'll be" said Jakeman. "I thought it was one of those creature things."

    "Moo" said Cowofwar.

    "It appears we have a sort of livestock animal before us" exclaimed Konstantine.

    "Ooooohhh my" said Jakeman. "It has utters!"

    "Control yourself!" said Dagor. "What brings you hear my friend? You gave us quite a scare. We thought you might be... well one of those cylinderish things."

    "Moo" replied Cowofwar.

    "It appears we have a sort of livestock animal before us" exclaimed Konstantine.

    "You already said that!" whined Nate.

    "Yes" answered Konstantine. "But this time I have concluded that this specimen only possesses the ability to moo and whistle. We have no way of communicating with..."

    "Moo!" interrupted Cowofwar.

    "This pest is beginning to annoy me!" bellowed Konstantine. "Someone do something to shut it up!"

    The android called Nate shot a lazer net out of it's cannon arm to trap the annoying beast. It mooed in terror but then fell asleep, a victim to the net's sleeping gas.
     
  7. Haite

    Haite Forum Moderator

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    Laser is spelt with an S, not a Z. It stands for Light Amplification through Simulated Emission of Radiation.

    Anywho...

    Haite was passing by, "Tip o'th'morning to ya chaps", he said as he nodded his hat towards the fine gentlemen, and quietly went on his way.
     
  8. mrdoomsday

    mrdoomsday Peasant

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    what are you so cheery about? asked nate
    did you buy a prasnactitute?
     
  9. MisterHalleck

    MisterHalleck Peasant

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    Haite was the ship's cook. After thousands of years, human civilization still could not make a robot that could cook halfway decently... and besides, people need jobs.

    "Well, I suppose there is no way of getting this... cow off the ship aside from killing it, so let's eat it! Hey, Haite, get your glazzies over here!" exclaimed Dägor.
    "Yeah, all I've eaten these past weeks has been synthfood from the materializer- no storage anymore for good food," uttered Jakeman."

    "uhh, folks, I think that may not be a cow. Or, at least, it is a cow, but it wasn't before. Try a T-probe on it and copy that thing's brain into Nate- you do have a T-probe, don't you?" mentioned Konstantine.

    "okay," jake and dägor said in unison, not desiring to lose anything that might contain valuable information.

    <several hours later>

    The T-probe had sucessfully copied the Cow's brain into Nate. Now, they could talk to the being that had so unceremoniously dropped in to their party.
    It got very strange when they asked cow (Nate?) what his name was.

    "I am COW Of War!!" bellowed the tinny speakers in Nate.
    "COW? what does the COW stand for?" queried Jake.
    "COW stands for COW of War!!"
    "which stands for COW Of War, Of War??"
    "YES!!"
    "Which stands for COW Of War, Of War, Of War???"
    "YES!!"
    "How far does it go?"

    ...click
    ...click
    ...click
    <BOOM>

    "Damn it all, Jake, you've managed to get it into an infinity loop again!" exclaimed Dägor as the group of four watched the robot rebuild.
    "Sorry!"

    "...Okay, now where was I? oh yes, I was right about to tell you about my cow body. Those vile canister-shaped beings telepathically turned me into a cow, looking for laughs about my name! I couldn't do anything!"
    "MOO!" mooed the cow in the corner, still slightly dazed but still able to hear.
    "Oh yeah, and my name isn't Nate any more and I don't exist to pleasure you. I am COW Of War, and my sole purpose is to eradicate the nerverminds from Zachisse!!"
     
  10. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    hey i just got back from gr. this was one of my favorite threads, and i'm wondering what happened to it. i liked to the story, why didn't more people get involved? anyway, get involved or die. and stick with the story
     
  11. Strader

    Strader Peasant

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    Isn't that Stimulated?
     
  12. cowofwar

    cowofwar Peasant

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    ...And then everyone bbq'd cow for dinner and had a great party.

    THE END
     

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