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Storytime!! (again)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MisterHalleck, Jun 9, 2002.

  1. MisterHalleck

    MisterHalleck Peasant

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    Hi. I was talking with Zephor and zxcvbnm and I think we need to write another story. Let me start:

    A long time in the future, in this Galaxy, there was a hoopy frood known as Jakeman. Nobody knew why his name was that; of course, English had died out for centuries and most people had names like "Obleena" and "Minntar Obus". For this reason he was reviled, and his nickname throughout his adolescent life was "Qwe", which in Modern Galactic-Speak means "Boy who cannot explain what a 'jakeman' is, nor why it should choose to give him its name".

    He was a roving guide for up-and-coming newly rich people who were somewhere comfortably between the point where they had lots of money and the point where they actually knew how much most people should charge for tourguide services.

    He had a friend, who he had known for nearly 2 years, whose name was Dägor. Dägor was not what most people would call a frood, nor was he in any way hoopy. He did, however, have an innate ability to embarrass himself in front of people he knew. He worked in the Yelling and Throwing People Out of Windows department at a local firm- (you must remember, the modern Galaxy is much changed from the one 5 thousand years ago, and the ideals of Corporation and Free Enterprise have been slightly warped over the years).

    <<Having described the two main characters, I will let you guys take it from here>>
     
  2. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    Life in the concerning galaxy was ever so boring. People passed their 96 hour days working, and their 48 hour nights sleeping and watching the hologram. Families sat at the dinner bubbles in states of confusion. They found no meaning to life, and were just plain sick of it. The race had discovered the means of eternal life, and the galaxy had become massively populated. Although the people grew to hate it, they lacked the nerve to pull th plug. The population of the galaxy nation slowly drifted into a mental depression as their solar system drifted across the universe, passing meteor storms that the modern technology destroyed with ease, witnessing uncanny sites of molecular and sodium divisions. Once in a while, the nation encountered extra terrestial life forms. But sadly, a defense system that had been set up thousands of years ago, and that couldn't be deactivated destroyed any foreign life forms that came near to the nation. The people were unable to experience any difference in their everlasting lives...

    Finally one day, as if the asteroids had answered the peoples' prairs, a strange traveler (of the same race but of a different quadren) by the name of Konstantine entered the galaxy state, creating a huge stir. His aura disrupted all broadcasting signals in the galaxy, and his small peculiar looking spaceship gave out an incredibly bright light...
     
  3. Mentosman24

    Mentosman24 Peasant

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    The bright light blinded anyone that was in the immediate area. Into this bright light could be seen many different scenes, of course the people of this day didn't know what they were. But those of us now would have recognized the Jurrasic Era as one of these images, and would have also seen the fall of the Roman empire, mans flight into space, our first discovery of alien races, and so on. It was like looking into the past, but in a very disturbing way. It also showed not just Human history, but also that of at least a dozen other races that were destroyed in a time only refered to as "The Reckoning".
     
  4. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    the visions of reckoning puzzled the people who stared in awe. eventually, people began passing on the rumour that konstantine was the savior of the galaxy, and he was to bring variety and "fun" to the people's lives. how so, it cannot yet be said.
     
  5. MisterHalleck

    MisterHalleck Peasant

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    Well, as it turns out, Konstantine was the corporeal manifestation of a Hooloovoo (a superintelligent shade of the color blue), which explained the aura around him. Being superintelligent, he knew that "fun" would get boring after a number of millenia, but he wasn't dumb- he knew what was expected of him. So he used his aura powers to wipe everyone's memory. (It has been demontrated that certain shades of the color blue can trigger memory-erasure reflexes in people.) This done, he walked off into space- ignored by the defenses because of his noncorporeal nature.
     
  6. MisterHalleck

    MisterHalleck Peasant

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    Jakeman and Dägor were sitting in their spaceship as it all unfurled, oblivious to the happenings on the major planets. Teleportation had been discovered but most people saw no reason to destroy the spaceship business, it had been a great bonus to the economy and people had infinite time to get where they were going anyway. They quietly sat staring at each other in the cabin, contemplating their next moves in a game of Simulated Holographic Brockian Ultra Cricket.

    "I don't see why you keep smacking that one limb on my character. You always are so vulnerable when you do that.", Dägor mused.

    "zark off. I'm thinking."

    "shreeezz, veck, I didn't mean anything. Maybe we should quit this- I'm bored."

    "Fine. Suits me."

    Jakeman headed over to the navigation console.

    "Computer, get us over to Stavromula Beta. I need a stiff drink- find a place that has good Gy'n'n'tnyyks."

    "Sure, yeah, fine, that's good. You want a lobotomy right now t ospare your brain the trouble?" whipped Quent, the computer.
     
  7. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    All of a sudden, a bright blue light flashed before the eyes of Dagor and Jakeman. Jakeman dropped his cup of klafstis which he found in the ice compartment to substitute Gy'n'n'tnyyks since he didn't feel like going out. Both Conductors of the spaceship stared in awe at the light since they seemed to have forgotten what they were doing. Eventually a human form appeared...

    "T'is I, Konstantine!" said the glowing stranger. "I have come to join you on your journey to the sub-zero deserts of planet Zachisse to find the (stereotypical) damsel in distress by the name of Azladeena. The damsel is said to have disappeared seventeen jupiter months ago. I have heard that the woman possesses great riches and is likely to part with some to her rescuer. It is also said that Azladeena possesses uncanny beauty due to the fact that she is one of the last of the venus females, whom are known to be so fair. I seek her riches and a glimpse of her "beauty"."

    "WTF?!" exclaimed Dagor who was still recovering from his short bit of amnesia. "This spaceship is the private property of Jakeman and myself. You are an intruder and are to be disintergrated if you do not teleport yourself the hell out of here!"

    "Calm yourself..." interrupted Jakeman. "I have heard of this man... I believe he goes by the name of Konstantine. I saw on the public hologram that this individual is supposed to be from the fourth quadren, but of the same race. Although he is also said to possess inhuman abilities such as projecting this bright light that we see before us. If you please Konstantine, whom I am sure that you are, could you possibly decrease the intensity of that light which seems to be irritating Dagor's eyes as well as mine. It would make it easier for me to continue..."

    "certainly" replied Konstantine, and he somehow turned off the glow completely.

    "That's better!" said Dagor as he somehow jumped back into the conversation. "Now you say you wish to accompany us on this journey you speak of... Well I no longer wish to hear of it. My friend and I are bound to the tropical planet of Tahiazzi for a bit of sun. I re-state that you are an intruder, and despite Jakeman's opinion, I wish you to leave. Now be gone with you."

    "Seriously, shut-up Dagor" sighed Jakeman. "I have heard that this Konstantine is a respectful and extremly intelligent person. He is also said to have a great sense of humour."

    "And where did you hear this?" questioned Dagor.

    "On the hologram of course. And you know how accurate the hologram is."

    "Oh... Yeah..." mumbled Dagor.

    "Konstantine" resumed Jakeman."Your story interests me. From who is it that you heard this tale?"

    "Why from the oracle of Delphizine" replied Konstantine. "She is known to see many things of greate importance"

    "I see" murmured Jakeman. "It seems very much to resemble those of the ancient adventures that were told by "books or "movies", learning devices of the second millenium. It reminds me especially of a story of a so called "barbarian" named Conan. Ever since I read the story when I was a child several centuries ago, I relished the thought of such adventurous journeys made by parties of companions... Please, tell me more of this damsel who seems to have disappeared in the deserts of the infamous planet Zachisse..."
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2002
  8. mrdoomsday

    mrdoomsday Peasant

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    and on a far off dessillet (SP) planet inhabited by only a few human a cracker fell on the floor. Using the chaos theory we now know that this one cracker dropping onto the floor forever changed the future of the universe. slowly but surely changes will be made that can be traced back to this cracker falling. Oh the horror.
     
  9. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    Luckily, this cracker fell in a universe far away from the one that we are concerned with. It had no affect on our story whatsoever.
     
  10. mrdoomsday

    mrdoomsday Peasant

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    little did they know that the cracker fell onto the button which blows up the nuke they have stored right outside of town! the last survivor escapes in a ship and spreads the news of how all 18 of these people died creating more depression in people making mass suicides common.
    dapork ignorance to such a current event show how much of a shuttin he is and he becomes amazingly embarrassed.
     
  11. MisterHalleck

    MisterHalleck Peasant

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    stop bickering guys.


    Dägor decided that it was best not to irritate a Hooloovoo. He had no idea that this creature's species was Hooloovoo, but the example he'd been given was sufficient enough. Besides, the bright light was annoying.

    "Yeah, okay, fine, do whatever you zarking want to. I'm only coming along for my own personal enrichment, which I gave up two millenia ago- that should give you an idea of my current disposition.", he augered.

    "eh. fine, so long as I have my companions <<bait>>," mused Konstantine.

    "Yay! we're finally off to do Adventures and Really Wild Things!!"exclaimed Jakeman.

    He went to set the coordiantes of Zachisse into the computer, but was slightly startled when he noticed the ship was already boosting off there.
    "Uhh, Konstantine, aren't the Venusian females mortal??",
    "Yes. But Nobody else knows how to operate the recieving end of a teleporter anymore, so there's no use trying that. I could go there myself if I wanted to , but that would take several million years- after all, I am mostly light. So I need you and your ship, and your memory intact."
    "Uhh, yeah, thanks for the heads up." said Dägor. stupid alien. at least we're off to do something besides see Jakeman lose in Holographic Brockian Ultra Cricket.
     
  12. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    i'm glad that my story is being continued, so no more going off topic like doomsday...

    The whole crew (three people) was sitting on bubble sofas when Konstantine sprang up... His face was pale, and he was sweating as he began to do a frightening little dance. Dagor staired in awe, while Jakeman decided to take a different approach.

    "What is it?" cooed Jakeman.

    Konstantine replied: "I sense a peculiar feeling in my groin area... Something I have never felt before".

    Jakeman's face turned into a sinister grin as he slowly approached the uncomfortable hero.

    "May I take a look at it?" whispered Jakeman. His mouth could be seen drooling.

    "Bluhfooey!" interrupted Dagor. "Snap out of it Jakeman ma boy, you're acting rather homozygous! Konstantine, what is it?"

    "I... I seem to be wetting myself!"

    "Oooohhh. You must be feeling the need to urinate. It is a need we removed from our species centuries ago. Now our body easily disposes of unwanted particles through the pores. Why is it that the matter confuses you so?"

    "I forgot to mention, I tend to adapt abilities of surrounding beings. This thing you speak of is supposedly a natural condition."

    "Yes, yes it is" replied Dagor.

    Jakeman who was still staring at Konstantine left the room for he seemed to be getting red in the face.

    "Do not worry about you friend" assured Konstantine. "My aura sometimes tends also to tamper with people's personalities..."

    "Oh no, Jakeman's always like that." replied Dagor.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2002
  13. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    Dagor began: "Now, we might as well return to our mission while Jakeman is in the shower. I was a bit rude earlier because of your intrusion. But don't worry, I'm generally a nice guy, and I think I'll enjoy this journey. We seem to approaching Zachisse, beware, there may be sandstorms..."

    Konstantine squinted as he looked out of the front crystal shield..."My god! What is that?!??!?!"
     
  14. Wulf

    Wulf MSC Knight and Donator

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    Outside of the viewport lay the wastes of a huge vessel. It looked as if some giant creature had raked its' claws down the side, disembowling it. Debri floated out in space freely when the old radio crackled to life. A weak signal began to come through, " Can anyone hear this? If so please respond. My ship was disabled by some unknown force... Please anyone listening... do not proceed to the planets surface as the thing that attacked my ship last headed in that direction... Chief technician Wulfer Dylan out"
     
  15. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    "Heed not the false technician's advice!" bellowed Konstantine. "He wishes to pursue the path of Azladeena's disappearance and claim the reward for himself!"

    "Well I suppose that's a possibilty" pumped Dagor. "But how do you suppose his ship was destroyed? Perhaps he did it himself to throw us off track?"

    "Indeed!" answered Konstantine with smile. "T'is what I was just about to say; good thinking my friend!".

    Jakeman arrived to the scene well satisfied. His hair was still pulsing from his favorite electro-shampooey that he enjoyed using so much.
    "What's all the zinjy xarol?" began Jakeman.

    "Behold!" corxed Konstantine. "Behold what we have before us! T'is a plot to **** up our journey!"

    "Fluent in the old xlingo ain't he jaky?" said Dagor.

    Jakeman continued: "Well, we cannot be sure of your lil ol' theory until it is investigated Konstantine... Let us board the ship; but beware, I once saw a flat hologram called "Event Horizon" and... just watch your back."
     
  16. DunAzrael

    DunAzrael Peasant

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    They all piled into the boarding craft, which was really a few spare parts and an o2 tank jake had thrown together. While standing in the decompression room, preparing to exit the ship, Jake and Dagor nodded approvingly at each other as if to say "Let's find this cosmic abrubtion and send it to oblivion."
    No sooner had they done this when Konstantine, removed the Keriajxglour from the mujo, and they were off. The affor mentioned o2 tank, was not for them to breath, but to propel themselves, for jake was not horribly smart and overlooked the whole inability to breath due to lack of o2 in space thing. Needless to say, all but Konstantine had to hold their breath. They arrived at the other ship, which Dagor noticed was called slik-sot-king from the planet nebular, also known has D'er'suuemsioeiu, where the chaos theory had been proven to a tee. "hmmmm" thought Dagor "A clue has been revealed to us!"
     
  17. Wulf

    Wulf MSC Knight and Donator

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    Luckily for Jakeman and Dagor, they found a still intact airlock before they ran out of breath. Stepping out of the Airlock they came face to face with a wounded humanoid stretched over a console. On the back of its ill fitting uniform was a logo that none but Konstantine had seen before. "An ancient biological hazard sign" he commented mostly to himself. The being slid to the floor with a groan and caught sight of the trio. "Gethal... gethal montiu.." Shaking its head and seeming to come more to its sences it coughed... " Water... water please..."
     
  18. mrdoomsday

    mrdoomsday Peasant

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    At the moment nate jumped (he was hiding behind dagor thru all of this) out and said "go go waterfountain" (nate is an andriod). he shot a little stream of the water into the humanoid figures mouth. After about 5 minutes of a continuos stream the humanoid turned into wulfer dylan. At such hot tempuratures wulfer had been dehydrated and wrinkled like a shrunken head. To their horror wulfer looked behind everyone and made a blood curling scream.........



    (chaos theory- just b/c the planet if far away doenst mean the cracker had no effect. look at it this way. the "period" is 1 second before the crack fell.... A&B are the out comes
    a
    .
    b
    A= the cracker does fall
    b= the cracker does not fall.

    This also supports the multi-universe theory. there is also a c,d,e... pretty much infinite out comes... the cracker could be caught, the cracker could have fallen 1nanometer more to the left.
    so the cracker did have an efffect onto what happened in the future :P)
     
  19. dapork

    dapork Peasant

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    Konstantine who had been immensly startled by the android, shot a lazer beam at it. It exploded into a million pieces. Dagor began to cry...

    "Now who will satisfy my simple every day pleasures?"sobbed Dagor.

    Dagor looked at Jakeman who had was grinning.

    "ARRGG!!!" clamored Dagor. "We must find this Azladeena chick quick!"
     
  20. SpocKirk

    SpocKirk Forum Moderator and Donator

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    dangit, Haite got to it first! (or should I say Hayt?)
     

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