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Retrosexual

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by jesse_us10, Apr 13, 2004.

  1. jesse_us10

    jesse_us10 Peasant

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    Things are kind of slow so here.

    Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I
    can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is
    effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about
    foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual,
    bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and
    purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban
    world!

    Real men of the world, stand up, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the
    start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "

    The Code :

    A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

    A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that
    term only because they are female.

    A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or
    a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

    A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

    A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you
    live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and
    drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.

    A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women
    have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap
    (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

    A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years
    old.

    A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff
    (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of
    The Code.

    A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

    A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on
    national TV.

    A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women.
    Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you
    becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

    A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress
    such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak
    treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city,
    favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink
    because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH
    IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

    A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to
    conceal himself from prey.

    A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and
    ONLY a Windsor knot.

    A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about
    getting.

    A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a
    nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be
    rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

    A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled
    with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus
    it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or
    things that just need a little "wakin' up".

    Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of
    them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams
    are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is
    swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry
    include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish
    do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of
    major body part on your Ford truck.

    When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a
    pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and
    offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men
    still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

    A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct
    emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled
    Banner

    A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
    understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset
    the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a
    serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting,
    shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

    A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

    A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all
    over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering
    his ride in a snow bank.

    A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.
    Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his
    truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the
    retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.

    A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any
    elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The
    person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man
    will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their
    country.

    A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He
    will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other
    person deceived him.

    A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does
    something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the
    process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !
     
  2. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    I make women pay their own way. **** this double standard, inequality crap. I'm a greedy bastard and I don't want to pay for everything.

    I am going to be alone the rest of my life.

    woot!
     
  3. Elbereth

    Elbereth MSC Commander and Donator

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    I have just started riding the bus to school. It is amazing to me. No one gets up for anyone. People won't even move their backpacks for someone to sit down. They do everything they can to not make eye contact with someone they should move for.

    An elderly lady got on my bus Monday. I was standing and there was a seat near me with a 20 something guy's backpack on it. I picked it up, handed it to him, and showed the seat to the lady. She was amazed. The guy looked like he wanted to start a fight. I ignored the punk.
     
  4. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    A public bus? All bus people are like that.
     
  5. jesse_us10

    jesse_us10 Peasant

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    It's a shame that Elbereth is an exception to the standard now. Just keep doing it though.
     
  6. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    Old people (relatively speaking) always think the world is going down the toilet, while young people think it's fine.

    People don't adjust well to changes in society.
     
  7. Haite

    Haite Forum Moderator

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    I like the old standards.
     
  8. jesse_us10

    jesse_us10 Peasant

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    There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman. I just think there aren't enough. Ditto for Ladies too.

    Now the article does have some comedic parts to it but overall it makes a good point.

    For you single guys if you want to meet Ladies, not girls or hoes but Ladies you had better be at least know how to be a gentleman. It does make a difference to her. Or else you'll only be dating little girls and hoes (regardless of age, your's or her's).
     
  9. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    Hoes pay their own way?

    I have always thought the opposite, that girls who leech are hoes. I call it leeching, anyways.
     
  10. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    Specifically, I'm talking about girls who fully expect you to pay and have no intention of paying for themselves.

    Some girls will pay for themselves when I tell them. Others will stare at me in shock and not pay. I am talking about the later.
     
  11. cowofwar

    cowofwar Peasant

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    It depends. If you ask someone out on a date then you're paying. If they ask they're paying.

    It just so happens that society is tilted towards the man having to ask the woman on a date and not the other way around.
     
  12. Arisu

    Arisu Peasant

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    Unless you have a sexy smile like cow. Then you get all the ladies asking you.
     
  13. Haite

    Haite Forum Moderator

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    Yea, if you ask someone out then you pay. If she asks you then expects you to pay, then that's a bit weird. I don't see the problem with the guy-ask-girl tradition - you ask someone out if you want to go with them, and if you don't care enough to pay, then don't ask. But that's a pretty cold way of looking at it.
     
  14. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    Of course.

    And if one party asks and tells the other that they need to pay their way, then they both pay. In my experience most girls don't react well to this... leeches.
     
  15. cowofwar

    cowofwar Peasant

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    If you're both friends that enjoy doing stuff then normally you cover your own costs.

    If you're asking someone out you obviously "want" them, at that point they don't "want" you yet. The whole point of a date is to sell yourself to the girl and make her "want" you. You don't do that by making her pay for herself; that suggests arrogance, like you're doing her a favor by letting her go out with you.
     
  16. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    You're damn right I'm arrogant. I know what I got. I know when girls like me. I don't sell myself to anyone but me.

    Not that it matters. I have a problem with intimacy so I don't think I'm going to do it anymore.
     
  17. Haite

    Haite Forum Moderator

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    If she's not worth paying for then maybe you should think twice, before asking her. :)
     
  18. KroeT

    KroeT Peasant

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    I'd pay for the first two dates. After that, it's really better to switch. Let her pay the third date, and you can pay for the fourth. etc etc.

    Most Dutch women are feminist bastards though, they want to pay for everything.

    :D yaye :D
     
  19. Jakeman

    Jakeman MSC Founder and Donator

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    Ultimately we are talking about fluid exchange, are we not? I happen to be awesome in bed so they are going to enjoy me at least as much as I them. They can't get money and sex for free... something has got to give.

    If a man and woman enjoy eachother equally it is logical for them to split the costs associated with that enjoyment. SUBMIT TO TEH LOGIC
     
  20. Haite

    Haite Forum Moderator

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    I wasn't talking about that at all. I don't associate sex with dating.
     

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